“I was born with spina bifida, and have had a walking disability my entire life. When I was younger, I was constantly having surgeries, but none of this stopped my parents from treating me like any other kid. I still had to do my own laundry and help around the house like my younger brothers.
Growing up, there’d sometimes be an offensive comment or two from other kids in school, but because I was open and honest about my condition, I never experienced much of that and always had friends. It’s possible I just grew accustomed to blocking out the comments and not noticing. I had a lot of good friends, and they would all protect and stick up for me. The person I was bullied by the most, was myself. I didn’t have a lot of self-confidence, but that’s all different now.
In my freshman year of college I started to have excruciating back pain, and I would fall quite frequently. The next year, I ended up needing a spinal fusion surgery in May 2003, that left me partially paralyzed. Since then, I’ve always needed a wheelchair, or crutches. After that surgery I still suffered from debilitating back pain and went on to have four more spine surgeries. Finally, the last one worked! Six months later, on April 1st, 2010, I met the love of my life, my husband Dave. We got married in 2012, had our first baby in 2013, and then our second three years later.
In December of 2016, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, after one day having a total breakdown, and not knowing what was wrong with me. It was scary for the both of us. I felt like I needed medication, and that was exactly what the doctors did. However, the drug I was on caused really bad side effects. I began to have suicidal ideations and compulsions in my head to harm myself. I wouldn’t describe myself as suicidal, but I had an urge to hurt myself, which is the weirdest thing to actually talk about. It was all day, every day, and it totally consumed me.
A couple weeks before it reached this point, I began thinking that there had to be a better way. Clearly the medication wasn’t working. Wandering around Barnes and Noble, I found a book titled, Hot Mess to Mindful Mom and another called Breathe Mama Breathe. Less than a week later, I was half way through the first book. I had also started to use essential oils at this time, but it’s hard in the middle of an episode to stop and think, “I should grab my essential oils” when you’re anxious and depressed.
I also began going to the Holistic Self Care Center and began to look at crystals and incense. I was trying to find anything that would help me. I began to practice mindfulness and meditation, but I wasn’t yet very consistent at this point. My husband and I also did yoga at the YMCA on and off for the stretching, but once again, it wasn’t routine and I hadn’t tapped into the spiritual aspect, yet. I then began practicing yoga at NH Power Yoga which gained me some strength and balance back in my legs and back!
About last April, I noticed that the author of Hot Mess to Mindful Mom, Ali Katz, was posting on her social media about a Mother’s Day coaching intensive. I responded that I was interested. We discussed what my needs were, and then I immediately signed up! She took me through a guided meditation, and I admitted that I didn’t have a consistent practice, but when I did sit down to meditate, I always felt so much better. She opened to the door for me to really realize what I had just said! After that, I knew I needed meditation in my daily routine, and over the course of that program, she ultimately helped save my life.
Prior to all this I was making children’s clothing and selling it on Etsy. Even though I felt confident in my ability to make collections, this past summer I realized I didn’t want to do it anymore. It brought me too much stress, and it wasn’t worth it. I was simultaneously taking Gabby Bernstein’s (@gabbybernstein) Spirit Junkie Masterclass with this tugging on my mind (and I’ll be taking her Spirit Junkie Level 2 masterclass this fall at Kripalu) She’s a huge inspiration of mine, and I ended up signing up for her weekend long meditation retreat last summer, which was when I truly tapped into my call to spiritual coaching.
I’ve gone through so much with my own disability, and my entire life I’ve always wanted to help people, so I decided to move forward and become the spiritual coach I am now! Since then, it’s all comes so easily. I’ve always had a good intuition without even realizing it until now – representing all of the manifestations that have taken place in my life. Despite the feedback I’ve received from family and friends regarding a shaky income, I just have to remind myself to keep going. Knowing I can be a light to others who are going through their own struggles will be the ultimate reward. I am 200% in to succeeding as a spiritual coach.
My plan originally with the medication I was on, was to stay with it until this coming spring, because I tend to dip down in the winter. But, towards the end of the summer, I began to reflect. After talking to my husband, I didn’t feel the medication was significantly helping me, in comparison to the other things I was doing at the time. I ended up calling my doctor and began to taper off my prescription.
Now, I’m in my own routine of meditation. Even though I miss days here and there, I know I need to keep up with a positive mindset. I practice meditation and journal. I tell myself affirmations each and every day. I create vision boards. I transform each negative thought that comes into my head to a positive one. Now, I manifest everything that I want in my life, and I’ve come to realize – you are your own change.”
I am now a Spiritual Wellness + Transformational Coach. I help other moms become spiritually aligned and shine their light bright. In my coaching practice, I help women tap into a higher universal power and realize their full potential. We all have the ability to live the life we truly want. I can’t make an amazing life for you, only you can do that. My job is to give you the tools, knowledge, and understanding to tap into your higher self, a higher power, and do incredible things in the process. You can be a new and improved woman. I am living proof that an incredible transformation is possible and it all lies within our mind. www.SpiritualMeditationMama.com